Kenny is always getting killed in "South Park."
And it isn't easy for the Kenny in Montgomery either.
When he came back from the Christmas break, WVU Tech athletic director Kenny Howell found his basketball court partially submerged. A water leak had warped about a sixth of the court and he was staring at a $23,000 bill.
Hopefully, insurance can take care of the court. But Howell has other issues in front of him.
Always.
Perhaps never have I seen a school that struggles so mightily with its sports identity. First, it's in the West Virginia Intercollegiate Athletic Conference. Then it's out. Then it joins the Mid-South Conference. Then it reapplies to the WVIAC. Then, it's out of the Mid-South. Now, it's in something called the Kentucky Intercollegiate Athletic Conference.
Oh, and the school is also set to move to Beckley.
Got it? Maybe. Maybe not. But let's hope Howell and his school's program can find some stability in the near future. The effort is certainly being put forth in Year 1 of the KIAC. (Pronounced by Howell as the "key-ack.") The school had been an independent NAIA team without an affiliation.
"We couldn't be happier now," Howell said. "It's been three years since we were in an actual conference. It was getting harder and harder to put together schedules.
"You have a 30-game basketball schedule. You not only have to put it together, but make it financially feasible. A lot of schools wanted to host us, but no one wanted to come to Montgomery."
In the old Mid-South days, Tech had trouble recruiting against private schools like Georgetown and Lindsey Wilson. I kidded Howell, asking why Tech doesn't have athletic endowments like those schools.
"We do," he replied. "It's the same as our coffee fund."
OK, so let's reset. You know Tech is now in the KIAC. If you're wondering how the Golden Bears fit in the league, know they were picked to finish fourth within the KIAC's men's basketball Colonial Division - seventh overall.
Which brings us to the subject of location.
"If everything is a go legislatively," Howell said, "we'll have freshman classes in both Montgomery and Beckley in 2016. There will be no athletics in Beckley for the year except clubs and intramurals. All our varsity sports will have to take place in Montgomery.
"Then, in 2017, if all goes well, everything will be in Beckley."
It's not, of course, the optimal situation. Yet Howell said the athletic staff is handling the situation well.
"Aside from [the Neal D. Baisi Athletic Center] we've been a traveling road show anyway," Howell said. "None of our outdoor sports are played on campus."
Indeed, the Golden Bear baseball team plays at Doug Epling Stadium in East Bank. The softball team plays at Terry E. Willis Field in Smithers and the soccer teams play at Schoenbaum Stadium in Charleston.
"We have some opportunities to get some nice venues in Beckley," Howell said. "That news has been well received. There's just the issue of history and attachments to the Baisi name. We're going to try and take as much history [to Beckley] with us as we can."
Baisi was a pioneer in basketball zone and pressing defenses.
"It's bittersweet," Howell said. "We'll do what we can. Historically we have Neal Baisi, [basketball Olympian] Mike Barrett, Pete Kelley. Jim Fout was just up here."
The list of former Tech standouts is impressive. Throw former NBA player Sedale Threatt on the list.
"We don't want to lose what's been built up," Howell said. "Higher education is just turning into survival of the fittest."
Howell is hoping some answers and clarification will come from the ongoing West Virginia legislature. There are technical issues like taking the Tech name to Beckley. ("Everything is complicated," Howell said.)
But the AD is doing his best juggling act. He has 15 sports and just short of 300 varsity athletes. In perhaps the school's most visible sport, men's basketball, the Golden Bears just dropped out of the coaches' NAIA Division II poll. They still had the second-most votes of those outside the list - and then went on the road Thursday to defeat No. 20 Rio Grande, Ohio.
So there you have it. A snapshot of Tech in its current form.
Hopefully, some day soon, the athletic program will be settled long enough for a nice portrait.