Gay Elmore Jr. would not comment on this column.
It's understandable. It involves the tragic passing of his father, aka his best friend, Gay Sr. And it involves the alma mater he loves, Virginia Military Institute, doling out what he sees as unwarranted punishment to the sons he loves, Ot and Jon.
It was too difficult for Gay Jr. to talk about. But the story came to light last Thursday via ESPN writer Jeff Goodman.
It's about the dark side of college athletics.
Gay Elmore Jr., a Charleston attorney, asked that another attorney, friend Tim DiPiero, discuss the issue in his stead.
"It's real painful for Gay," DiPiero said.
Sports fans in the Valley know of the Elmores. Gay Sr. was a standout who played a bit at WVU in the Rod Thorn era. Gay Jr. was a terrific South Charleston player who went on to become a two-time Southern Conference player of the year at VMI. Ot was a fine player at South Charleston and Jon even better, first at SCHS and, eventually, at George Washington.
All was right with the world. Both followed in their father's footsteps to VMI. Then fate took a nasty turn. Gay Sr., the boys' grandfather, became very ill. Ot told the Gazette-Mail the elder had a hole in his heart as well as leukemia. In the end, there was paralysis.
Also at the end, Ot and Jon wanted to be there.
"The boys heard Gay Sr. was real sick," DiPiero said. "They came home. Their parents said to go back to school. Then Gay Sr. refused hospice and medical care. He got worse. Then the boys heard their grandfather was terminally ill. Well, that was it."
Ot and Jon left VMI to return home and help care for their grandfather. Now, as Goodman first reported, nearly a year after leaving VMI, the pair still hasn't been released by the school.
"Me and my brother did what we thought we should," Ot said. "If we could go back and do it over, we would. [Gay Sr.] was like a second father to us. He taught me to play basketball. My dad was our coach, but [Gay Sr.] would take us to practices and games. On the weekends we'd just go stay at his house and hang out.
"Once he got sick, we stayed on his couch every night for three months. I'd be there at night and Jon would come over in the day. There was always one of us there until the end when it got bad. He was a proud man and didn't want me and Jon to see him like that. He'd only let dad."
"Gay told them to go back," DiPiero said. "He said, 'We'll manage.' But they wanted to be with their grandfather. They were incredibly close. It was an unselfish thing to do and they shouldn't be punished."
Stunningly, though, that's what it seems VMI chose - to the son of the school's all-time scorer until 2008. It would be like WVU not granting a release to Jerry West's son. Both Ot and Jon were denied waivers by VMI and Jon lost an appeal with the National Letter of Intent committee to try to gain back the year of eligibility he lost.
Jon has now enrolled at Marshall and will eventually play for Dan D'Antoni. Ot is now at Texas Rio Grande Valley. Both paid the second semester of last year and the current semester. All because VMI wouldn't release them.
"I couldn't believe what was happening," Ot said from Texas. "When we left, it was like they didn't believe us saying our grandfather was sick. I don't think they handled it very well."
DiPiero felt the same and tried to help negotiate. The Charleston lawyer said VMI seemed to agree to the releases for $50,000. That would compensate for the scholarship money lost. DiPiero said Gay Elmore Jr. raised the money, but then VMI insisted on $110,000. That was out of the question.
VMI athletic director released a statement to ESPN saying the Elmore brothers "sought their release through the various avenues in the NCAA and NLI rules, and it was not granted. The various appeals also were not granted. We appreciate the history the family has as it pertains to VMI, and we continue to wish the Elmore family well as all parties move forward."
It's an astonishing story. Elmore has a tremendous legacy at VMI. I'm sure he's donated thousands of dollars to the school. And get this: Ot was a 4.0 grade-point average student who not only went back to school after his grandfather's initial diagnosis, but helped athletes transition between athletics and the military parts of the school.
"A lot of the stuff [VMI is] saying is not true," Ot said. "We'd just completed our conditioning program when we left. We wouldn't put ourselves through that if we thought we were going to leave."
He continued.
"[VMI] blocked us from Division I; they blocked us from Division II. They didn't want us to stay and didn't want us to go anywhere else. I don't understand. It's a mess."
Ot called the request for money, especially $110,000 "like blackmail."
"Where the hypocrisy lies is coaches can go somewhere else and, in this case, did," DiPiero said. "Duggar Baucom left for the Citadel. He didn't lose a year, but these kids did."
"I'll never get it," Ot said. "There was a kid [Craig Hinton] who transferred to Appalachian State and they didn't block him. But they fought us tooth and nail."
It all left Gay Jr. with bad memories. The way his father died. The way his school acted. The way his sons were treated.
The only thing he'll hold dear from the mess is the way his sons acted. And they way they treated his father. And, perhaps, the knowledge that, in the same situation, they'd do it all again.